You Should Break Up

Tell me about your relationship problems, and I'll tell you why you should break up.

Anonymous asked: I met a man in Feb & thought I met the man I could grow old with! He told me he had some "mental health issues" (mild bi-polar & depression), but was medicated. He seemed well balanced & healthy. He took a new job & began abusing anti-depressant meds which lead to a crack binge, suicide attempt and 2 stints in rehab. He is now back on track medically and feels w/ his new meds, new Dr and support he will be back to being balanced & live a fairly normal life. He's asking for another chance...

Since you write that he is “asking for another chance” I assume that you are already broken up. I’m working on that assumption from here on in.

I believe that people can change, that anyone can decide to remake their lives for the better. I believe that mental illness does not bar anyone from fulfilling relationships. I believe that addiction can be conquered. I believe in second chances. That doesn’t mean that you should date this man again.

I’m not saying you can’t be friends or that you can’t be supportive of him on his journey, but right now he has proven that what he needs is to focus on his recovery. It’s only been six months since you met and all this happened, which is not enough time to prove that he can be the person you can build that balanced life with. How he handles your decision to be his friend, rather than romantic partner, will be a good indicator of how far back on track he really is.

Perhaps, in a few years, if you are still friends and he has proven that he is where he wants to be and if he is living the kind of life you can see sharing, then, and only then, could you begin to consider making a life with this man. Till then, you should STAY broken up.

  1. youshouldbreakup posted this